Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
