I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
