I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
