no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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