I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
