Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
