He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
