theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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