Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
