The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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