Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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