the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
