She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
