I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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