Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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