I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
