i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
