You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
