There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
