Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
