they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
