I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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