I heard we made out
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
