I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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