I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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