I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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