Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
