If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
