I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
