i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
A+ Viking dick
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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