i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
