wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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