Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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