At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
