just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
