So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
