If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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