So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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