and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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