Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
