I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
did i just pee glitter
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
