I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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