rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
