Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
