when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
