I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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