it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
