he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize