Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
