The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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