hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
